Monday, February 18, 2008
my first isaac.
I fed him from my breast for the last time on Monday. I laid Manoah down in his crib and at the alter. My first Isaac. I laid him down in his crib and at the alter and i walked away. I walked away. i hid my face in the arms of sam and i wept. i wept for me. i wept for Manoah...wept for the first moment i ever held him, wept for the joy i found in calming him when others could not, wept for his fingers that tugged on my hair as his tummy filled up, wept for his wondering eye that caught mine as he drank in comfort, wept for his tiny face burrowing deeply into my chest.
My first Isaac. My last feeding. My first laying down. My first letting go. My first Isaac. One week now. Manoah has forgotten. My breasts have not. they ache and pulse in pain... filled, but now to stay full. My first Isaac. my last feeding.