Wednesday, July 30, 2008

i feel in love with Sam today. part 1.

I remember the night that Sam told me that he had driven out to coast, dug his hands deep in dirt, and stood alone feeling the earth between his fingers. It was one of his late night drives. The kind that happen when he is wrestling with anxiety and his only release is a long drive, in any direction, windows down, and the taste of fresh air to his lungs calming his rapid thoughts. I secretly hoped that his anxious thoughts included me and his passionate love for me about ready to burst through his chest, but lets be honest, i bet he was trying to contemplate the meaning of life and how his fingers to dirt may permanently effect the topology of that landscape for eternity. I can just see him now. His red truck parked along some lone highway and Sam down on his knees running sand between each finger and watching each grain fall from his hand and back onto the ground. He does this over and over, and all the while praying the mysteries of God under the dark and starry sky. I think this is a good intro for Sam. If you don't know my handsome man- this is a good start.

I believe our story started years before this day, but seeing this picture of his hands reminded me of how wonderful and altogether silly my sam really is.

This is part 1 of our love story: "I feel in love with sam today"

Spring 1999. The fire alarm blared throughout my dorm room building. Darkness had already settled in on our oceanfront Dormitory, Young hall. My college of choice happened to be located on the beautiful San Diego Coast. From my room (o-2) i could literally taste the salt water on my lips. 150 college Freshmen poured out of the dorms, carrying books, towels, and miscellaneous snacks. Like little mice the chattered rose with confusion and anticipation- why were the sirens interrupting our stressful thursday evening? to quiet our restless questions our Resident Director explained the Fire Drill and the plan of escape in case of a 'real' fire. To combat our frustration with this false alarm- he opened the back of his truck and unleashed dozens of Krispy Cream Doughnuts (if you haven't had these- go to the store and buy some now! AMAZING!) This story is going somewhere- i promise. That night is embedded into my head for this reason. As a freshman in college i had left my home and ventured away to face the world on my own (okay- i only moved 30 min away and i went to a small private Christian college) but it was a big deal okay :) That night i had several of my friends from home spending the night and checking out the school and applying for the following Fall. Of those friends was Sam Paschall- my childhood friend... best friends with my best friends brother (did you follow that? my BF is Krissa- her brother is Robby- Sam's BF- got it? good!) Anyway- Sam was there visiting with a few other guys and my good friend Beth. Up until that night- the fire drill night- i had never once thought of Sam more than him just being who he was- Sam. Skinny, toothy smile, big hands, small body, big feet, rambling stories, secret handshake, silly -Sam. he was never ever anything more to me... then on that night with the krispy Cream doughnuts everything changed. That night he became much more- a potential. You see after having the group down for the night my neighbor (in room o-1) asked me about him and commented on Sam's - here you go- "hotness!" yes- she said it "sam is Hot."- that comment threw me off because i thought she must have been talking about someone else- Sam? skinny Sam Paschall? "uhh- yeah- he is pretty good looking i guess?!#)(@*!" and there it began. Sam moved from childhood 'boy next door' to "he is so hot, lets go buy some hummus and have a picnic on the beach' (i am not sure what that means or where that came from :) all i know is that from that moment on- Sam was stuck there- in the back of my head and every Christmas, summer, fall break- I wondered if i would see him... my potential.
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Thursday, July 17, 2008

Please pray.

My Nephew Jackson is having open heart surgery in one week. Please pray.

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Sunday, July 6, 2008

happy 4th

Sam and I prepared for Independence day well this year. While at Blockbuster a few weeks ago we rented the HBO series called John Adams. Okay-we are history nerds, but i am not ashamed- i loved every minute! There were a few nights i couldn't even sleep and Sam got mad at me because i couldn't stop talking about the series. I have a freaky fascination with the history of our Nation and how in the world these men- G. Washington, J. Adams, T. Jefferson, etc. contained the knowledge to lay such a brilliant foundation for America. These men weren't perfect by any means, but they did a darn good job of getting America off to a good start. Freedom. I believe that every human heart screams for it. I remember years ago watching Brave heart on my lap top till 3:00 am. The moment that Mel Gibson screams "FREEDOM" tears came pouring done my face. We want freedom so badly that we will do anything to find it or fight for it. Men will stand confidently in front of a moving tank, or burn themselves to death wrapped in their nations flag, freedom was written correctly by Thomas Jefferson, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."- somewhere in all of us we just know that this is true.

I guess that is why i love the forth of July (good food and fireworks are nice too), but i just remember the foundation that our country was built upon. I know America isn't perfect, but i am thankful that Sam and i have the freedom to decide if we want more kids or not, we can vote, and follow our dreams (as dreamy as they seem to be), we can worship God without fear of government control or death, i can (as a woman) wear a tank top outside and let the sun shine on my face, i can get an education or not get an education, i can take dance classes, and raise Manoah in a world with laws that protect children.

Go rent the series- you won't regret it. here is a fun fact: did you know that Thomas Jefferson and John Adams both died on July 4th - the 50th anniversary of our nation. Jefferson died in the morning and Adams in the afternoon. It is told that Adam's last words were, "Jefferson lives." implying that Adams saw Jefferson and together entered heaven. pretty cool.

Friday, July 4, 2008

new pics with my new cam.

I love my new camera (EOS 40d)- Thank you economic stimulus!