restless.

alarm blaring at 6:23.

already my heart racing.

 anxiety of all to be done and all that has been left undone.

we circle each other in the kitchen with morning cartoons already enticing battles over who picks and who can't see the screen, the waffle is burning. think. grab clothes, grab baby awake, grab peanut butter.

overwhelmed but what task to actually complete first, making a mental list prioritizing the important to what can be procrastinated. and all these thoughts make me irritated, short, and snappy with the little ones doing everything the opposite of what i ask of them. 

tie your shoes, he takes them off.

put on jeans, he comes out wearing shorts 2 sizes too small.

and i can't get the sippy cup cap on correctly, water spilling.

and the noise of wedding pictures to blog, and phone calls to clients, and diapers to buy all cloud my mind. frustration fuming.

and yet, the most overwhelming thing of it all isn't what must get done or what hasn't been accomplished. my greatest weight is me and not my list. all things, in there time, will be done. it isn't the tasks, it's me. my heart, my need to please, my uneasiness with my heart these days and all that i see inside there, my need to keep up with the masses, my need to find admiration from others. my list has little to do with my messy morning, but everything to do with mobilizing me to encounter my mess. my restlessness has less to do with my crowed calendar and all to do with my true condition. and all the while i hear one voice echoing in my heart, "my heart is restless until i find rest in thee."