Friday, June 20, 2008

good night Manoah.

with Manoah sleepy in his car seat i sang to him. when manoah gets tired in his car seat he always says "mama" and reaches for my hand. With his little chubby fingers gripped around my thumb i sang. a few songs from musicals like Cats and Miss Saigon, kid songs, and then to old hymns that my mom used to sing to me. before i knew it, i felt tears swell in my eyes. "Oh Lord your Beautiful your face is all i seek..." and "Trust and obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus..." and Come thou Fount of every Blessing..." My heart ached. I felt these words and the melodies pierce open my chest and touch this child inside of me. i am not sure what exactly touched me so deeply- that my mom once sang these words to me as i drifted to sleep and now i am singing these songs to my son or if i felt the presence of God- perhaps both. as i type this now i think that in some mysterious way as a child i had a special relationship with Jesus. Jesus was real. Jesus was really my friend... i felt Him. i knew Him. i knew Him like He was in the room, at the table, sitting beside me, and actually inside me- deep deep deep inside of me. i knew He loved me. this is what i felt as i was singing to Manoah- like i was a child being in the presence of an old dear friend who loved me. and it felt so nice. a little and a lot like coming home. something familiar and warm and right. something deep, simple, profound, and peaceful all at the same time. something that made my heart echo "yes and hello."

i parked my car in the driveway. picked up Manoah. He rested his little head on my shoulder and drifted slowly to sleep.


Renes said...

Anjuli...more and more I see how important it is to share Jesus with Chloe. We pray with before bed, before meals, and point her to the great creations of God (ie the moon, the sun, the clouds, ocean, fish, etc...and tell that God has made it!) Who knows how much she understands about it, and maybe some people may think are going overboard by saying to Chloe every morning "We thank you Lord Jesus for this Morning, in Jesus name"...and Chloe happily replies..."Ah Ah MEN!" Then we think, it doesn't matter what others may think or say, but we would rather have it the Lord would be pleased and that we carry out our responsibility and share our love for the Lord with Chloe. I think the Lord smiles as Chloe says her "Ah Ah Men!"

Love you! Thanks for sharing your heart. Love reading your blogs.

Ryan and Charissa said...