Lost.

Since sam was sick two weeks ago, i did something i said i would never do... i got into a new tv series. We have been borrowing "Lost" seasons 1-3 from my good friend and staying up absurd hours of the night watching people shooting each other, blowing up hatches, finding the 'others', and fighting their own personal demons. To be honest, i love this show. The show does an amazing job of displaying so accurately the truth of human nature. Each character faces trials and through flash backs of their past we understand the choices they make on the island and the struggle they go thru to overcome their past mistakes.

anyway, I've just been thinking about Lost and how i have felt lost a little myself. I sat in a circle with some amazing people last week. I shared a piece of my story and they reflected back to me what they saw.

One woman responded- "i see you not as a pebble skipping on the wrestling currents of a river, but a strong solid rock settling on the rivers floor. You carry depth about you Anjuli"

and another shared. He is an older gentleman, Russian and full of wisdom-
"hold out that picture of your son."
(and i did).
Look at him-"What is he doing?"
"nothing" i responded "just sitting there"
"And do you love him?"- he asked
"yes- i love him very much"- my heart warmed and filled with love for manoah as i looked at his picture, tears filling my eyes
He asked- "i wonder if God feels the same way towards you- even when you are doing nothing?
(hum...i got it- and tears rolled down my checks.)

Sometimes i get a little fuzzy in the brain. I definitely don't see myself as a strong and steady 'rock' or one who is always loved deeply by God. But i'll tell you this... it is real nice to have people just take the time to want to see me and love me and remind me of who i am.

and about Lost. I get so freaked out at night that i can't sleep. i imagine the "others" are outside our house and are waiting to take me away to their huts and stick needles into me. As my good friend reminded me "Anjuli the Others are on an island far far away.. you don't have to be afraid."
Thanks for that reminder :)

Watch Lost- it will open you up. but be prepared to get addicted.

my latest project.

"Actions done in God bind not the soul of man."


Sam turned 27 last week. I wanted to create an image that would be a constant reminder to him of the ways God made him more alive this year. So here it is. happy 27 sam. thanks for spending it with me :) i love you...

"Those without wings should not camp above the abyss. You are camped there. You have wings."